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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059144">horse marine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razia/pseuds/Razia'>Razia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Among Us (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot of murder, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Body Horror, But Not Much, F/F, Gen, Heart Attack Treat, Murder, Starts Light and Gets Heavy, Unhappy Ending, no beta we die like crewmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razia/pseuds/Razia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis’ last mission aboard the Skeld was supposed to be easy, nostalgic, a good send-off.</p>
<p>She wasn’t prepared for the worst of her nightmares.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crewmate &amp; Crewmate (Among Us), Crewmate &amp; Impostor (Among Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Heart Attack Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>horse marine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelord65/gifts">firelord65</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Horse marine:</b><br/>1. <em>something imaginary;</em><br/>2. <em>someone out of their element, a misfit.</em></p>
<p>I must warn you all that the names are incredibly on the nose; I thought it would be funny xD</p>
<p>Dear treat recipient, I hope you enjoy it :3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Skeld is a marvel of engineering, even on its last legs.</p>
<p>Lapis remembers being fourteen, on a school trip, looking up at the thick glass separating her class from the shopfloor, as the employees assembled the first panels together. She remembers the grey metal, as thick as her arm; remembers three of the employees struggling to lift a single panel onto the assembly machine; remembers thinking how amazing it was, that something so grand could have such humble beginnings.</p>
<p>Later, when her class was ushered inside a conference hall where a man in a stuffy suit welcomed them, she saw for the first time what the Skeld would look like, when it was complete. Some of her classmates had laughed, saying it looked vaguely like a turtle; they weren’t wrong, per se, but that didn’t really matter. In fact, she had thought it was fitting, that something supposed to swim in space would look like a sea creature. But whatever the Skeld looked like when finished wasn’t really important.</p>
<p>Lapis had taken one look at the green-tinted hologram and thought <em>I wanna be there</em>.</p>
<p>And here she was.</p>
<p>After two years and five trips aboard the Skeld, her adventure on her turtle ship was coming to an end. The ship was too old now, too slow, spending too many resources when the newer ships could do twice the leg work with a fourth of the fuel.</p>
<p>The notice had come earlier that month, when they had docked at Mira for a round of maintenance and three rounds of reports that had lasted a full three days. At the end of the third day, Admiral Pruitt called the whole crew into a small conference room, where he delivered the bad news.</p>
<p>Well, they were bad for Lapis, especifically. The rest of the crew, especially their captain, had seemed ecstatic in finally getting rid of the Skeld.</p>
<p>“Don’t forget to give Lapis a piece of the haul before incinerating the thing!” Aurelia had said, clapping her on the back, and despite herself, Lapis had laughed.</p>
<p>“Are you going to cut a piece of it for me?” She had asked, lightly pushing Aurelia on the arm.</p>
<p>“If you ask nicely.” Aurelia had given her a wink, and their captain had swiftly interfered before they turned the meeting into a teasing match.</p>
<p>Lapis loved her crewmates, even if sometimes she wanted to throw them out the airlock.</p>
<p>Admiral Pruitt had stayed silent through it, eyeing them up and down like they weren’t worth the floor they were stepping on. Lapis always hated these meetings with higher-ups; she was eternally grateful that Scarlet was the one who usually had to deal with them, because she did so with a grace and buckets of patience that Lapis would never be able to have.</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>Lapis blinks, coming back to the present. The light of the shields is the only thing illuminating the room, throwing her sense of time off. She has no idea how long she’s been standing here, literally staring into space, task completed long ago. For a moment she feels untethered, like she might float away if nothing holds her down.</p>
<p>A firm grip on her arm has her turning her head around.</p>
<p>Guin stands there, face lit up by the shields. She has that subtle look on her face, the one where she’s worried but too polite to say anything. It’s something that Lapis appreciates; Guin is the type of person who can sit with you for hours without saying anything, just giving her silent support.</p>
<p>“Hey, Guin.” Lapis’ voice is rough from staying silent for so long. She has lost track of her tasks and the ship’s time. She suddenly realizes her legs are hurting from standing there for so long.</p>
<p>“How long have you been here?” Guin asks, voice soft in the dark room. Lapis likes Guin’s voice. Her usual soothing tone it’s something that puts Lapis at ease more often than not.</p>
<p>How long has she been here? Lapis has no idea, and she’s embarrassed to say it out loud. Not that she needs to, though. She’s sure Guin can see it plainly on her face, because Lapis is too tired to hide anything and Guin has always been too good at reading her, anyway.</p>
<p>Guin was there the first time Lapis had seen the Skeld in a professional matter, two years ago. They didn’t know each other besides what they had read in the files of their newly put together crew, Scarlet making sure they had read everything and that everyone knew who everyone was. And yet, Guin had turned to her, soft brown eyes bright in the fluorescent lights of the hangar, a slight smile on her lips, and asked her if she was nervous.</p>
<p>Lapis had stopped there and stared at her, surprise coursing through her body. The answer was obvious to herself, because of course she was nervous, but she was also known for having the best poker face around the base... and here this woman was, someone Lapis barely knew besides a cursory glance in the hallways of HQ, reading her like an open book. Because the look on Guin’s face was that of someone who already knew the answer to her question.</p>
<p>Lapis compares the look Guin had given her then with the look she’s receiving now, and laughs under her breath.</p>
<p>“Why are you asking me something you already know the answer to?” She asks, mirroring the question she had asked two years ago.</p>
<p>Guin’s smile grows, pretty in a way that’s hard to ignore. “I prefer it if you give me the answer of your own volition.”</p>
<p>The exact same reply she got in the past brings a grin to her face, and Lapis forgets how tired she is as she and Guin laugh in the privacy of the shield room. Lapis can feel her face warming slightly, and thanks the universe that the lights are dim enough that Guin won’t notice.</p>
<p>Because if there’s something her poker face hasn’t been able to hide, is her dumb, stupid crush on Guin.</p>
<p>Everyone knows, of course. You can’t live in close quarters with the same people for a couple of years and expect to keep this kind of thing secret. Scarlet and Jade have caught Lapis staring at Guin across the weapons room more than enough times; Amber is the one who waggles her eyebrows at Lapis every time she and Guin have to strip down for decontamination; Ryan even said once that Lapis’ expression is the same that his husband has when he thinks Ryan’s not looking.</p>
<p><em>Besotted</em>, Ryan had said, winking at her, because Ryan thinks he’s smooth, and Lapis had wanted to drop kick him out the HQ window.</p>
<p>So, yeah, everyone knows.</p>
<p>Everyone except Guin.</p>
<p>Because Lapis’ life is ridiculous like that. It’s like all the shitty romance movies she and Amber watch together when they’re off-shift.</p>
<p>She stares at Guin’s face for a second too long, takes in her smooth skin and her hair in a bun, brown locks falling on her face. She needs to move before she blurts things she’s better off not saying. At least not while they serve in the same ship.</p>
<p>“C’mon,” she says, moving and dislodging Guin’s hand from her arm, “let’s grab dinner. I’m hungry and exhausted.”</p>
<p>Guin nods, smile firmly in place after their silly little banter, and they walk together to the cafeteria. They pass by the communications room and Blake joins them, eyes glued to the pad in his hands, a frown on his face.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, Blake?”</p>
<p>“Just got a weird report from the folks stationed on Polus.” The blue light of the pad illuminates his face, casting its planes in sharp relief in the dim corridor lights, and Lapis feels a sense of foreboding grip her.</p>
<p>“Again? That’s the third time this month,” Guin says, frowning too.</p>
<p>Something weird has been going on at the Polus station for more than a year now. The reports they’ve been getting almost read like a horror movie in the making. Equipment appearing broken, specimens disappearing from the specimen room, random broken glass in the labs, medical files being lost amidst broken code, the faulty electrical system going on and off dozens of times a day.</p>
<p>Lapis feels her gut clench in nervousness. It’s not the first time something happened on Polus. The last time, the team stationed there was found either dead or incapacitaded in some way, and one person missing. HQ had swept the incident under the rug and proclaimed “collective insanity” as the reason for it, claiming the team had not been able to handle the stress of lengthy isolation and constant danger due to the planet’s unstable surface.</p>
<p>The scandal had the news on a firm grip for weeks. Lapis’ parents had called her to ask if she was alright, if she knew anyone there, if it wasn’t better that she quit. Even her relatives living on Europa had managed to get a hold of the news.</p>
<p>Lapis had denied having to leave, even as her stomach sank every time she thought of the lost crew. Thankfully, and she felt awful for thinking this, she hadn't known any of them.</p>
<p>Despite the repercussions and the death toll, the Polus station continued functioning, with smaller teams being sent, none of them staying longer than three months. After a year, everything seemed to be working fine again, and the incident had left most people’s mind.</p>
<p>Until this last team.</p>
<p>The Vord’s team consists mainly of military personnel. Combat specialists, strategists, and weapons experts. Two scientists fill out the last two positions, a xenobiologist and a xeno paleontologist.</p>
<p>It had been the hot news for a whole week, when their mission had been announced.</p>
<p>You don’t just take a xeno paleontologist anywhere you please. You take them somewhere you expect to excavate fossils. Alien fossils. The fact that after three years they had finally found something worth excavating on Polus was not lost on Lapis, but it seemed to have been lost on many of the people she talked to.</p>
<p>Though there were always those prone to conspiracy theories. There was talk of some alien disease, a microbe or virus, infecting the first crew, making them go crazy. Maybe they had inhaled some toxic vapors from Polus’ lava pits, or maybe the snow was toxic, or or or. Lapis refused to listen to it, but even she couldn’t deny how fishy the whole incident had been, and how well prepared this last crew seemed to be.</p>
<p>How well armed they were.</p>
<p>A ping distracts her from her thoughts, and Lapis blinks as Blake’s face shutters down. The displeasure is clear on the lines of his face and the tension on his shoulders.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“I just got an order from Scarlet.”</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>“...And?” Lapis asks, afraid but wanting to know what could be so bad.</p>
<p>“...We are expected on Polus in a week.”</p>
<p>“What?” Lapis’ voice comes louder than she wants to, making her wince inside the echo chamber that is the storage room. Everything she had just thought comes crashing down on her mind, the incident with the first crew, the denial of anything dangerous happening on the planet, the new crew armed to the teeth.</p>
<p>“We’re not military,” Lapis says, trying to make sense of the order.</p>
<p>“Yes, I know,” Blake answers her, attention still on the pad. Guin has to grab him by the arm and stir him away, to save him from crashing into some of the big crates. “Apparently they need more expert personnel to help collect everything they dug out, and the sooner the better. The planet has become officially unstable. Scarlet just got the orders from HQ. We’re all wanted on the bridge.”</p>
<p>They’re already at the cafeteria doors, so there’s no point in doubling back. They step inside and make for the door on the right, the one that leads to the weapons room. They encounter Rose and Violet leaving Weapons as they step in, and the five of them walk together to Navigation, grim expressions in all their faces.</p>
<p>“I don’t like this,” Rose says, her voice low in the middle of the corridor. Rose has always been vocal about the shit orders they sometimes get. It’s gotten her into some fights with Scarlet over the years, but Rose is too competent to be dishonorably dismissed for getting up in arms about weird orders. Scarlet mainly keeps their fights under wraps and out of their weekly reports.</p>
<p>“It would be a waste of her talents,” Scarlet likes to say sometimes, smile not fully there.</p>
<p>“Try not to get into a fight before we get all the details, though. After that you and Scarlet can go at each other’s throats,” Violet tells Rose.</p>
<p>Lapis silently agrees, but before she can voice anything, they stop outside the bridge’s door. It has always been Lapis least favorite place on her favorite ship, simply because she doesn’t care about navigation and anything related to it, more interested in tuning the shields and making sure the engine is working as it should.</p>
<p>The door slides open when it recognizes them, and they step inside to find everyone else there already.</p>
<p>“Good, you’re here,” Scarlet says, imposing as she leans against the main console, dark skin contrasting with the bright red of her suit. “We’ve received orders to head to Polus, as you all know by now. The Vord’s crew have unearthed... something on Polus that they did not wish to disclose on their report, and they need help packing everything up.”</p>
<p>Ryan raises his hand. “Did you say ‘packing’?”</p>
<p>“Yes. HQ’s shutting down Polus station.”</p>
<p>The silence that fills the bridge is heavy and incredulous. Shutting down the Polus station is huge; if they didn’t do that after the first disaster, what could possibly be so bad that they were doing it now?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, what?” Aurelia’s voice breaks the silence, but the tension remains. Lapis feels her shoulders tense up, her jaw lock in place. She’s just as unhappy as her crewmates.</p>
<p>“This whole thing feels last minute, and incredibly dangerous. Do we even have the expertise to help with what they want?” She asks, surprised at herself. She doesn’t usually speak up.</p>
<p>“It is last minute, you’re right. And whether or not we’re the best fit for the job, we’re the only option. Everyone else is too far away, and they want to leave as soon as possible.”</p>
<p>“Nothing sounds good about this, Captain.” Jade’s voice is clear and unwavering.</p>
<p>Scarlet sighs. She doesn’t look tired, but there’s still something heavy around her. “I know. I’m as unhappy as you all are, but we still have orders to obey and a fellow crew to help. Let’s do our best.”</p>
<p>There are murmurs, of course there are, but everyone still nods, if only out of respect for their captain.</p>
<p>Guin nudges Lapis’ arm. “Let’s go eat and rest. This next week will be long.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right.”</p>
<p>They move out of the bridge, everyone falling in step as they leave Scarlet to deal with HQ. Lapis knows the procedures, though. HQ would have never accepted no as an answer anyway, not without jeopardizing all of their careers, so Scarlet must have already said yes. Informing everyone in person was just a formality, because Scarlet is a good captain who actually cares for her crew. Lapis has heard some horror stories about other captains, egos too big to realize they’re putting the crew in danger, whether physically or mentally.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe this shit. I better not die on this mission, or I swear.” Rose is the only one ahead of them all, surprisingly not staying behind to argue with Scarlet about mission risks. Her voice booms in the corridor, angry, externalizing the tension that they’re all feeling.</p>
<p>Lapis’ sighs. It’s going to be a long week.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Arriving on Polus is anticlimactic. Somehow, in the back of her mind, Lapis had expected the station to be on fire, or for the whole crew to be dead. She spent the last week having nightmares about landing on Polus and never being able to take off again, being stuck on the planet while whatever had killed the first crew made the rounds on her crewmates.</p>
<p>They all watch from the cafeteria as Jade expertly guides the Skeld through Polus’ heavy atmosphere, clouds thick and purple obscuring their vision. Lapis’ watches the lights of the station come closer and closer. She used to want to be a pilot when she was a child, and even after going into engineering, she still felt her stomach flip every time they had to land somewhere, almost as if it was her piloting the ship. Jade had given her some flying lessons over the years, and it was as exhilarating as it seemed to be, though Lapis wouldn’t trade her current profession for anything.</p>
<p>The Skeld leans right for a moment, circling a tall hill, and suddenly the station is right there. Landing is as smooth as Jade can make it, and Lapis feels the tension around her shift from worrying about landing to worrying about everything else they need to do here. Rose heaves a sigh beside here, slipping her helmet on. They’re all silent as they prepare to disembark.</p>
<p>The only one to welcome them is the Vord’s leader, Peridot. Lapis knows it’s her by the gleaming lime suit she wears; the only name and color she bothered memorizing from the basic files of the Vord’s crew, which most people had access too.</p>
<p>“Greetings, Skeld,” Peridot says, voice firm. It’s hard to see her face through the helmet’s glass, but Lapis has the impression that she’s frowning.</p>
<p>“Captain Peridot,” Scarlet greets back, “we came as soon as possible.”</p>
<p>“Indeed. I appreciate it, Scarlet. If you’d all follow me, I’ll take you to Admin and get you up to speed on our progress.” She spins around and starts walking toward the biggest building in the station, bypassing what seems to be their storage. “I advise you not to take your helmets off at any point during your stay. The air on Polus is quite thin, and can possibly be toxic if inhaled for long periods of time.”</p>
<p>They follow silently, with Peridot and Scarlet at the lead. They’re almost at the door when Aurelia speaks.</p>
<p>“Captain Peridot, if I may ask,” she starts, sounding unsure but also slightly hysterical, which is not a good combination for her, “is that <em>blood</em> on your suit?”</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>Lapis turns her head back to Peridot and, sure enough, there’s blood on her suit, covering her hip and thigh. How the hell didn’t Lapis see that before? Granted, it’s in the middle of the night right now, and Polus has such a tiny, insignificant moon that the nights are basically pitch black. The only thing guiding them right now are the ground lights carefully arranged around the station, and their own suit lights.</p>
<p>“Oh boy,” Amber mutters beside her, keeping her pace steady.</p>
<p>“Ah, yes,” Peridot says, and then pauses. She stops right outside the door leading inside Admin, and turns to look at them. Her posture is dignified, but Lapis thinks she can hear the strain in her voice. “One of our own was found dead this morning. I helped carry the body and haven’t had time to clean. I think you can understand now, why we must hurry.”</p>
<p>The silence that follows her sentence is telling. Lapis feels the fear travel through her body and leave her cold. It's not often that she finds herself so afraid, especially not on a mission, but everything about this has been strange. Being on Polus definitely doesn't help; the purple planet carries a heavy atmosphere with it, as if trying to choke whoever steps on it. Its thin air and misty night complements the creepy setting.</p>
<p>Lapis is not usually prone to drama, but she can't help thinking <em>someone’s dead, oh gods, are we going to die too?</em></p>
<p>“You’ve gotta be kidding me!"</p>
<p>That's Rose. Lapis can see by her body language that she's gearing up for a fight, which is a very Rose thing to do, but for the first time since being Rose's crewmate, Lapis thinks this one time is very justified.</p>
<p>"This is ridiculous! Someone died hours and hours ago and you didn't think of sending news of it?"</p>
<p>"Rose, settle down." Scarlet takes a step towards Rose, holding a hand up.</p>
<p>"Please, control your crew, we don't have time for this." Peridot opens the door and steps inside.</p>
<p>"Scarlet, this is bullshit. This mission was above our paygrade to begin with, and now there's dead people too?" Rose gestures angrily around them, limbs moving fast and uncoordinated.</p>
<p>Lapis' hands start shaking, and the sensation is so unexpected that she looks down at them. She's not usually someone who shakes under mission stress, even though the fear is still making her muscles feel stiff.</p>
<p>"I agree with Rose. This isn't what we set out to do," Amber says.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Amber! I—"</p>
<p>"With that said," Amber interrupts her, "we're already here, and they do need our help to pack everything as fast as possible and get the hell out. So maybe we should shut up and do as Scarlet says, for once."</p>
<p>Another tense silence fills the little bubble around them. Lapis gapes at Amber. If there's someone who never calls Rose out on her bullshit, it's Amber, and to hear her talk like that now, when Rose actually has a point, is surprising.</p>
<p>Surprising and maybe a little scary.</p>
<p>Lapis frowns, ignoring her own shaking for a moment. Something's weird; this isn't how her crew acts. Could this all be from fear? But haven't they been on other scary missions before. Sure, they've never been to Polus, but it's not like they haven't seen their fair share of creepy deserted planets and moons.</p>
<p>Well, there's the murder, which is understandably upsetting.</p>
<p>Lapis breathes out heavily, feeling her control returning to her. Her hands stop shaking.</p>
<p>Suddenly feeling watched, she turns her head to the right. There's nothing there, except more metal buildings. There's not much light to see things with clarity, but the guiding lights give her an idea of shapes and paths.</p>
<p>Something seems to move in the shadows. She makes to take a step toward it, but Peridot's voice cuts through her thoughts.</p>
<p>"Well, are you guys gonna stand there all night?"</p>
<p>And just like that, whatever strange spell came over them disperses. Lapis sees Rose's shoulders drop, and Scarlet turns back around and steps inside the building. They all follow behind her, an unspoken agreement to get the job done and get out, just like Amber said.</p>
<p>Peridot walks briskly, steps heavy and firm on the metal floor. She's a woman who walks with a purpose, and Lapis can't help but envy her a little bit.</p>
<p>She blinks and realizes she's the last, behind everyone else, but there's no white suit in sight.</p>
<p>Lapis stops abruptly, feet making a weird noise against the metal floor. She turns toward the open door. There's a white arm at the corner, just outside of her vision. She's moving towards it before consciously thinking about it.</p>
<p>"Guin?" She asks when she gets closer.</p>
<p>Guin stands there, looking out into the distance. She's so still that she looks like a statue. If Lapis didn't know better, she would say Guin isn't breathing, which is just ridiculous.</p>
<p>She looks at the direction Guin seems to be looking, but all she can see is a bright spot of orange light. It's probably one of the lava pits Polus is famous for. Lapis wants to explore around, wants to see the lava before they have to go, but first they have a mission.</p>
<p>She puts her hand on Guin's arm. "Guin, c'mon."</p>
<p>Guin startles a little, twitching away from Lapis' grip, before she stops and seems to realize where she is and who is touching her.</p>
<p>"Ah, forgive me. I was... distracted."</p>
<p>"Get distracted later. Let's go before Scarlet comes looking for us."</p>
<p>"Yes, of course."</p>
<p>"Hey, you two!" Aurelia's voice rings around them. "Come inside already, meeting's starting!"</p>
<p>They step inside the building together, and it's immediately noticeable how much cozier it is then what its grey outside would suggest. There are knick knacks along the walls, portraits of other crews, small statues, potted plants that look less green than they should, random objects that Lapis cannot see the use for. It seems a well lived, well loved place, which is not something she was expecting to find on the dreaded Polus station.</p>
<p>She doesn't want to admit it, but the interior ambience puts her at ease.</p>
<p>Aurelia leads them to the meeting room; a very normal room with a large table at the center, and clearly not enough chairs for everyone. There are a few people that weren’t with them before. These must be some of the Vord’s crew.</p>
<p>“Don’t take your helmet off!” One of them says, loud and panicked. Lapis whips around to find Ryan with his hand around the rim of his helmet.</p>
<p>“Even inside?” Ryan asks, sounding unsure.</p>
<p>“Yes. Like I told you, the air can be toxic,” Peridot answers in place of her crewmate. She has a hand put up, as if telling the person to step down. Lapis eyes the one who spoke; they look agitated, half out of their seat, as if they would bodily stop Ryan if they had to.</p>
<p>“Isn’t your air filtering working? It should clean away any harmful quantity of whatever substance is in the air.” They all turn to Lapis and she realizes she’s the one who spoke. She can feel a blush trying to come to the surface of her face, but she pushes down the urge to curl in on herself.</p>
<p>She knows what she’s talking about. She’s not the inexperienced little astronaut she was at the beginning of her assignment.</p>
<p>One of the Vord’s crew, this one leaning against a wall, shakes their head at her. A heavy looking weapon is strapped to their waist. “The air filters broke a few days ago, and we don’t have anything to fix them. Just one more reason to get the hell out of here.” They turn to Peridot, something in their voice indicating this isn’t the first time they’ve had this specific argument.</p>
<p>Lapis understands. She would want to get out of here as quickly as possible too.</p>
<p>“As you know by now,” Peridot begins, “we’ve been having problems with missing equipment and supplies. Sometimes they’re not broken, but simply missing. We’ve unearthed some strange fossils a couple of months ago, and the idea was to study them here first, before bringing them to Mira.”</p>
<p>“A couple of months? That wasn’t on the reports. You made it sound like it had only been two weeks. Three, at most,” Blake says, displeasure clear in his voice.</p>
<p>Peridot shakes her head, looking down for a brief moment. She seems contrite. “HQ ordered us not to divulge the precise timeline.”</p>
<p>“Of course they did,” Rose mutters. By the way the others shift, they all heard it.</p>
<p>“After we started the analysis, things went downhill. One of ours went missing early on.”</p>
<p>“And now one of your crew is dead.”</p>
<p>“Joss wasn’t the first. He was the fourth.”</p>
<p>“Fucking hell.”</p>
<p>“Rose, shut up.” Scarlet doesn’t leave room for discussion as she seems to stare Rose down through her helmet. She turns back to Peridot. “You should have asked for help sooner.”</p>
<p>“You don’t understand.” Peridot shakes her head, clearly frustrated. “We sent for help at HQ weeks ago. They were the ones who delayed everything. We’ve been hanging on as best as we can. This is why I told you we need to hurry.”</p>
<p>Scarlet moves her body as if she’s going to say something else, but Violet interrupts her.</p>
<p>“Is no one going to say what we’re all thinking?” Silence follows her question, but Lapis knows exactly where she’s going with this. It’s not like she hasn’t thought about it since receiving their orders.</p>
<p>“This,” Violet continues, waving her hand at the room at large, “is exactly what happened with the first crew stationed on Polus. Someone went crazy and sabotaged everything, and the rest of the crew couldn’t leave. Most of them died, and the ones who were saved were discharged from duty.”</p>
<p>“We don’t know that. There’s no confirmation of what actually happened here,” Ryan says. Lapis frowns. That doesn’t make sense, because Ryan is one of the only few who actually believe that specific conspiracy theory for what happened; why would he deny it now?</p>
<p>“You’re incredibly dumb if you think the higher ups wouldn’t hide something like this.”</p>
<p>“Alright crew, settle down.”</p>
<p>“Told you we shouldn’t have come here.”</p>
<p>“Rose, I’m this close to sending you back to the ship.”</p>
<p>“You can’t do that, you need me here to handle the fossils.”</p>
<p>“I can and I will, don’t test me.”</p>
<p>“And how are you gonna do that? By force? Don’t forget I always beat you in hand to hand, dear captain.”</p>
<p>“Rose!”</p>
<p>“What, Scarlet, what? Don’t fucking pretend like you’re not terrified at what’s happening here!”</p>
<p>“Whether I’m afraid or not it’s not the point! Your insubordination is going too far and I’m tired of covering for you!”</p>
<p>“Ah yes, what a great captain you are, always keeping us so safe and protected! Let’s see how well you can keep us safe when there’s something out there apparently out for our blood!”</p>
<p>“Uhm... guys?” Amber tries to intervene, but Scarlet and Rose just keep going like they have forgotten where they are. Lapis can’t keep herself from gaping at the scene. This isn’t like any other interaction she’s ever seen between those two.</p>
<p>“Scarlet, what are you doing?” Jade asks, tone of voice nervous. She wrings her hands, a gesture so unlike her.</p>
<p>The discussion keeps going, getting louder and louder. Lapis has to take a step back when it seems like Scarlet is about to jump at Rose and wrap both her hands around her neck.</p>
<p>A loud click catches the attention of the room, and even Scarlet and Rose pause, stuttering, as they all turn to the person that had until then been silent in the corner of the room. They’re pointing a gun at the two women, some heavy type that Lapis doesn't know because she’s never bothered to know more than the bare minimum to pass her self-defense training.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna need you all to calm down, right now.” Their voice is smooth and calm, secure in the fact that they’re going to be obeyed.</p>
<p>The tension seems to break. Rose and Scarlet are not looking at each other, and Lapis finds her breath coming easier, even as thoughts race through her mind. This isn’t how her crew acts. It’s like they’re either switching personalities or losing their grip on their emotions, sometimes both. There’s nothing that could explain this, except the stress of their situation, but it seems a flimsy reason for such a strong reaction.</p>
<p>“I have a question for all of you. Did you breathe in Polus’ air at all? Are the filters of your suit still working properly?” Peridot asks, voice hard.</p>
<p>“No one breathed here. Helmets have been on the entire time we’ve been on land,” Scarlet says, looking around at her crew, waiting for confirmation. They all nod back at her, and she turns back to Peridot. “Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>“You’re acting as if you’ve breathed this air. I told you it’s toxic; two of our dead crewmates were acting more violent and erratic than normal before they died, so we ran a battery of tests. Joss, the one who died this morning, identified the toxic components in the air.”</p>
<p>“So they died of this?” Scarlet still sounds angry, but now that anger is directed at Peridot. “You’ve put us in danger by bringing us here.”</p>
<p>“They didn’t die of it, no. And we need help; we had no choice but to ask for it.”</p>
<p>“Then how did they die?”</p>
<p>“...They were murdered.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Peridot sighs, the weight of a planet on her shoulders, and finally sits down on the chair behind her. “It’s time to come clean, I think.”</p>
<p>“You should have done that on your report. But fine, do it now. If you want my crew’s help, we have the right to know what’s happening.”</p>
<p>Peridot waves at her crew. “Lena and Gus, go to the lab and see how the others are doing. Sara, you stay with me.”</p>
<p>Sara, the one still pointing the gun at them, moves closer to Peridot.</p>
<p>“You can lower your gun, now.”</p>
<p>Sara does as she’s told, but not before saying her piece. “I’m watching all of you. Don’t make any wrong moves.”</p>
<p>Scarlet nods at her, then nods at Peridot.</p>
<p>Peridot lets out another heavy sigh. “Two months ago...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So this is what happened.</p>
<p>The Vord’s crew excavated what seems like a fossil of something ancient, that lived here billions of years ago. Their scientists couldn’t identify any clear bone structure, but they found a lot of what must have been organic material at some point. Peridot isn’t able to describe it, no matter how much they insist. All she can say is that it didn’t look like anything she had ever seen.</p>
<p>They took some samples to be studied at the lab, where they found that some of the material seemed to be hibernating. Some samples were taken to the specimen room, where they attempted to bring it back to life. One of the samples disappeared from the containment glass, and that’s when things started getting weird.</p>
<p>Their xenobiologist disappeared, and soon others started appearing in pieces throughout the station, bloody trails everywhere.</p>
<p>They are being hunted one by one by whatever has taken a hold of their scientist.</p>
<p>Scarlet bangs her hands on the table, right in front of Peridot, the sound so sudden and loud that Lapis jumps.</p>
<p>“You motherfucker!” Scarlet yells. Lapis can’t remember ever seeing her so angry.</p>
<p>Sara brings her weapon up again, leveling it at Scarlet’s head. A shiver of cold fear runs down Lapis’ spine. Sara’s grip is steady, unfaltering, like she’s done this many times before. Her voice is just as even.</p>
<p>“Back off, Captain Scarlet, before I have to use force.”</p>
<p>“Shut up! You—” she points at Peridot— “and you too!” Points at Sara. “You’ve put my crew in danger! You omitted crucially important information from the reports and the request for help. It should have been an SOS, at the very least! We came completely unprepared, thinking we were going to help you move important findings, but instead we have to contend with murder and infection, and possibly my crew going crazy before we can even step off this planet!”</p>
<p>She slams her hands again. “How dare you!”</p>
<p>It’s not a question, so Peridot doesn’t answer. What could she say, anyway? Everything Scarlet has said is true.</p>
<p>Lapis has a brief flashback to a week ago, walking alongside Guin in one of the Skeld’s many corridors, Blake’s tense face as he explained the situation. She recalls the bad feeling making a home in her stomach, and how she had had to stomp down on her anxiety.</p>
<p>
  <em>I can’t believe I was right.</em>
</p>
<p>There’s nothing left to say. Sara still has her weapon pointed at Scarlet, Peridot still sits with dignity, even though Lapis can see the tension on her shoulder, and Scarlet is still seething, angry, heavy breaths that can be heard through her helmet’s voice module.</p>
<p>Lapis looks to her right, wanting the comfort of Guin’s presence.</p>
<p>But Guin isn’t there.</p>
<p>
  <em>What the hell?</em>
</p>
<p>Lapis looks around, trying to find Guin inside the room, but she’s nowhere to be found.</p>
<p>“I will ask for forgiveness when we get out of here,” Peridot says.</p>
<p>“I don’t want your regrets and your apologies. I want my crew safe.”</p>
<p>“I underst—”</p>
<p>“Just tell us what we need to do, and let’s do it. Now.”</p>
<p>“...Of course.”</p>
<p>Peridot takes a breath, but she never gets to explain.</p>
<p>One of the doors slides open, and for a moment Lapis thinks it’s Guin. Maybe she needed to use the bathroom. Lapis is about to relax, but the person who steps inside is not Guin. It’s one of Peridot’s crewmates, and they have blood dripping down their helmet.</p>
<p>“Captain, they’re dead. They’re dead!” They’re limping heavily, and when Lapis looks closer, there’s blood everywhere. They have a nasty gash on their stomach that’s oozing something black alongside the blood.</p>
<p>“Gus, what the hell!”</p>
<p>“Peridot, don’t get closer to him!” Sara says, levelling her gun at Gus.</p>
<p>He falls down like a heavy sack of equipment, face first. The blood and the black goo start leaking onto the floor.</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Blake says. He has his arms spread out, encompassing Ryan, Violet and Amber, as if to protect them.</p>
<p>“Wait, I’m a medic, I can take a look,” Violet says, getting past Blake’s arm.</p>
<p>“Violet, wait.”</p>
<p>Sara shouts, “Don’t get closer to him!” but Violet is already crouched down, trying to turn him around.</p>
<p>What happens next is one of the most horrifying things Lapis has ever seen. A squelching noise is all she can hear as Gus’ abdomen opens up like a mouth, full of sharp, long grey teeth. Something shoots out of the mouth and stabs Violet through her head, helmet and all. It’s only a split second, but it feels like it lasts a lifetime, as Violet falls over to the side.</p>
<p>Dead.</p>
<p>Everyone screams as Sara opens fire on the thing on the floor. It screeches like something unholy, trying to skwer Sara the same way it did to Violet, but unable to move properly as it gets barreled by heavy fire.</p>
<p>“Fuck this shit!” Some yells over the cacophony, and Lapis hears the swish of the doors sliding open. Some of the crew run through the door, even when Scarlet shouts that they shouldn’t separate.</p>
<p>“Stay put!”</p>
<p>But they’re too far now, and the door shuts again.</p>
<p>The thing wearing Gus’ body thrashes as it’s filled with laser beams. Sara only stops when her gun overheats and beeps loudly at her.</p>
<p>“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—” Someone’s saying somewhere.</p>
<p>Lapis only realizes she’s kneeling on the floor when Aurelia tries to pick her up.</p>
<p>“C’mon girl, up, up, we need to get out of here!” Aurelia has this haunted look on her face, some sort of despair Lapis has never seen before.</p>
<p>“Sara, he said the others are dead! We need to check!” Peridot shouts.</p>
<p>Ryan is shaking Jade, who can’t stop screaming and can’t stop looking at Violet’s body.</p>
<p>“You can’t go there! Come with us, we need to take off!” Scarlet says, kneeling down and putting her hand over Jade’s mouth. Jade starts thrashing in Ryan’s grip, but not enough to dislodge herself.</p>
<p>“I need those samples! My crew died for them!”</p>
<p>“My crew is not gonna die for those things, Peridot!”</p>
<p>“Fine!”</p>
<p>Peridot moves towards the door, jumping over Gus’ body. Sara follows her, and before the door closes, Lapis can see them running towards the labs, possibly.</p>
<p>“Everyone, pay attention!” Scarlet’s voice washes over them, captain voice very clear. “Grab whatever you can use as a weapon, and follow me to the Skeld. Warn if you see anything suspicious, but don’t break off on your own. We <em>will</em> get out of here. Understood?”</p>
<p>Lapis nods, and she sees some of the others nod too.</p>
<p>“Some of the others aren’t here, captain,” Ryan says, supporting Jade. She doesn’t look good.</p>
<p>“I know. We’ll contact them through our own commons, but our priority is getting to the ship. Jade, especially.”</p>
<p>Ryan nods.</p>
<p>Lapis takes a look around her, cataloguing who’s there. Scarlet, Ryan, Jade, Aurelia, her.</p>
<p>And Violet’s body.</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it—</em>
</p>
<p>Scarlet takes the lead, and together they leave the meeting room. The lights are out, emergency lights doing a poor job of illuminating the path ahead.</p>
<p>Aurelia grabs Lapis’ hand and pulls her, but Lapis still finds her feet heavy. Her eyes move of their accord to a point on the wall outside of the room, the spot where she knows Violet’s body is.</p>
<p>Aurelia shakes their clasped hands. “Hey, eyes to the front, girl.”</p>
<p>“But she’s...”</p>
<p>“She’s dead, and she wouldn’t want you to die here too.”</p>
<p>“...Guin’s missing.”</p>
<p>“...I know.” Aurelia’s voice almost breaks. She stops pulling Lapis forward and turns around, grabbing her helmet. They can’t see each other very well, but Lapis still feels compelled to bring her eyes up to Aurelia’s.</p>
<p>“Listen, what’s happening is fucked up, and I really want to curl up in a ball and cry,” she says, voice breaking a little now, “but I also want to survive this shit, and I want you with me, okay?”</p>
<p>Lapis can only nod. She feels some tears coming up, as reality starts to set.</p>
<p>Aurelia nods back, gently knocking their visors together. “We’ll find Guin, but first we need to make sure we’re safe. We can’t rescue anyone if we’re dead.” And they move again.</p>
<p>Scarlet is waiting at the door that leads outside. Ryan is still supporting Jade, who looks catatonic at this point. It’s disconcerting, seeing her like this, because Jade is one of the strongest people Lapis knows.</p>
<p>“Alright, everyone. Suit lights stay on, since I’m pretty sure we don’t have any other light source, and keep as quiet as you can. Remember the plan; just go for the Skeld. We can plan our next move there.”</p>
<p>They nod, and Scarlet opens the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They should have known it wouldn’t be so simple.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They don't make it to the ship.</p>
<p>When Scarlet steps outside, something jumps out of the shadows at her, knocking her to the ground. Ryan shouts a too late warning, and Scarlet and the thing tumble together a few meters away.</p>
<p>"Fuck!"</p>
<p>Aurelia runs to their captain, shouting at Ryan to keep an eye on Jade and Lapis. She runs at top speed and barrels into the thing, sending it sprawling away from Scarlet. Aurelia grabs something on the ground and runs to the thing, bashing it over its head again and again.</p>
<p>It takes Lapis a moment to recognize one of the silly statues she saw inside the Admin building. Scarlet must have grabbed it on their way out, and dropped it when the thing jumped on her.and that's when Lapis realizes she has no weapon.</p>
<p>The thing screeches as Scarlet joins the fight. It sends Aurelia hurtling through the air, and she splats against a wall, leaving a trail of blood as she slides down.</p>
<p>She doesn't get up.</p>
<p>"No," Lapis whispers to herself, watching the blood.</p>
<p>Jade screams beside her, getting away from Ryan. Ryan tries to keep her from running, but Jade is so desperate that she claws at his face.</p>
<p>“Jade!” Lapis shouts, grabbing her arms. Jade is weaker than Lapis, usually, but adrenaline and fear are such a potent cocktail, and Jade slaps Lapis right on the nose. She sees stars for a moment, enough for Jade to escape.</p>
<p>“Jade, wait!” Ryan’s voice is desperate, but Jade doesn’t hear anything. She runs, still screaming, disappearing in the shadows.</p>
<p>A selfish part of Lapis gets angry at that, because Jade’s screaming will attract more of those things to them. But most of her just feels kind of numb and terrified.</p>
<p>Ryan grabs her wrist. “Don’t leave my sight, Lapis.”</p>
<p>“I won’t.”</p>
<p>Scarlet finally gets the upper hand and finishes the job that Aurelia started, embedding the statue on the thing’s head.</p>
<p>Lapis changes Ryan’s grip so that their hands are entwined, and she pulls him towards Aurelia.</p>
<p>“Please be alive, please be alive...” Lapis repeats over the short distance.</p>
<p>She wishes Guin were here with her.</p>
<p>They crouch down next to Aurelia and Lapis looks for a pulse. She doesn’t find it, and the tears that have been threatening to fall burn her eyes. For a moment she allows herself to sob. Ryan squeezes her hand, and she hears Scarlet’s panting breaths as she approaches them, her steps heavy with exhaustion.</p>
<p>There’s a moment of silence between them, but it doesn’t last.</p>
<p>“Let’s move.” Scarlet’s voice leaves no room for discussion, again that anger coloring her tone. Lapis shivers in the cold air of the night, inexplicably afraid of the woman standing behind her.</p>
<p>“Hey. I said <em>move</em>.”</p>
<p>“Just gives us a second, Scarlet,” Ryan answers, turning around.</p>
<p>All Lapis hears is a grunt, gurgling, something wet. She takes her eyes off Aurelia and looks beside her, to where Ryan’s kneeling. His suit is ripped, throat open, a mess of blood coming out of it and splattering all over his front and on the ground. With only their suit lights, she can’t see his face very well, but Ryan turns to her for a second, squeezes her hand again.</p>
<p>And then his upper body falls backwards. The way he’s kneeling prevents him from falling over fully, so he stays there, knees on the ground, upper body leaning back as if he’s looking up at the stars. Like he’s praying.</p>
<p>Static is the only thing going through Lapis’ mind as she turns around and stares at Scarlet.</p>
<p>Her visor is broken. Lapis can see the same black goo from before, running down her chin. Her eyes blink independent of each other, her mouth seeming to stretch up and up on her cheeks. Something like a tongue whips around her face. In her hands, the silly little astronaut statue, covered in blood and god knows what else.</p>
<p>“Captain.” It’s all Lapis can say, as Scarlet lifts the statue.</p>
<p>But she never gets to bring it down. A shot rings through the air; a laser beam so strong that it pierces Scarlet’s head from the back and out the front. She falls, unmoving.</p>
<p>Behind her stands Guin, weapon in hand, helmet off.</p>
<p>“Guin!” Lapis shouts. The relief is so strong that it takes a second to find the strength to get up, but when she does she runs to Guin, enveloping her in a hug.</p>
<p>Guin hugs her back, arms strong around her. She’s oddly warm, but Lapis only cares that she’s safe. Guin maneuvers her a little bit so that she can take Lapis’s helmet off too, and they can finally lock eyes.</p>
<p>“You saved me,” Lapis says, lips wobbling uncontrollably.</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>And then Lapis breaks down.</p>
<p>There’s no need for words. She allows herself to cry her fear and her grief, trusting, knowing that Guin will hold her. They should move, she knows they should, but just for a few minutes she cries and cries, trying to find the strength to salvage what she can from this.</p>
<p>When she’s exhausted all her tears, she leans back and kisses Guin on the cheek.</p>
<p>“Thank you for saving me.”</p>
<p>Guin stares at her for a moment, looking surprisingly calm, but also maybe pleased with the kiss? Lapis can only hope.</p>
<p>“Come. There’s something I need to do,” Guin says.</p>
<p>“Wait. We should head to the ship; Scarlet said we need to contact the others.” It hurts, saying Scarlet’s name, but Lapis pushes the pain down for now.</p>
<p>“The others are dead.”</p>
<p>Lapis stops abruptly. Guin turns to her and they stare at each other.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Lapis could cry again, could kneel down and cry for hours, but if they’re the only two left, they <em>need</em> to go.</p>
<p>“We need to go.”</p>
<p>“It’s too late.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not. Guin, listen to me.”</p>
<p>“I need you to come with me. I told you, there’s something I need to do.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing that’s worth doing here, please, listen!”</p>
<p>Guin grabs Lapis' wrist and pulls her along. Lapis tries to resist, but Guin’s grip is unrelenting, strong to the point of hurting. Some insidious thought crawls into Lapis’ mind, wanting her attention, but she refuses to entertain it.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Absolutely not.</p>
<p>Not Guin.</p>
<p>“Guin, please.”</p>
<p>“Just come with me.”</p>
<p>Guin keeps dragging her along, no matter how much strength Lapis puts to her struggling. Lapis keeps pleading and Guin keeps denying her, and there’s nothing she can do but go along as they pass the other buildings. She can see more blood along the way, more black goo.</p>
<p>At some point, she’s sure she sees a single leg encased in a pink suit.</p>
<p>If there was anything in her stomach, she would have puked.</p>
<p>They finally stop by one of the lava pits next to the station. The calibration system beside it beeps a frantic warning, red lights flashing, a big WARNING taking up most of the screen.</p>
<p>“What is that? What are you doing?”</p>
<p>Guin doesn’t answer, but it takes Lapis just two seconds to put everything in place, when she sees the glowing ball at Guin’s feet.</p>
<p>The reactor’s core is one of Lapis’ favorite pieces of engineering, and the reactor room is one of her favorite places in the whole ship. She has a strong memory of studying cores at university, book open on her pad, eyes glued to the screen as she learned about core intensity and radiation danger and how to utilize a core to the most of its capabilities, getting it to last decades and decades if maintained right.</p>
<p>She also remembers her professor explaining, face serious, how a single core could bring planet-wide disaster, like a mini supernova.</p>
<p>“Guin... is that the Skeld’s core?” Lapis knows she’s just asked the question, but she feels as if she’s not in control of her body. She’s numb everywhere, incapable of feeling the rips of her fingers or her nose or her toes.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“...Why do you have it?”</p>
<p>“To explode the planet, of course.”</p>
<p>Of course.</p>
<p>“Guin. Are you infected?” Her heart skips a beat of pure fear, waiting for the answer. She already knows, but hearing it from Guin’s mouth will kill her, she’s sure.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>Lapis’ legs give out and she falls to the ground, hitting her knees hard against the purple rock.</p>
<p>“Then what the fuck are you doing?” Lapis’ voice is loud, louder than she thought possible, given the adrenaline choking her up.</p>
<p>Guin stops fiddling with the lava stabilizers and turns to her. Her eyes shine in the orange glow, and for a terrifying second she looks inhuman.</p>
<p>“You humans, always getting into things that are none of your business. Desecrating my ancestors’ graves with your ships and your insatiable, damaging curiosity that knows no ethical limits.”</p>
<p>Lapis can hear Guin’s voice, can see her mouth moving, but the words don’t make sense. She gapes at Guin, unable to put into words her incredulity.</p>
<p>“I’ve been waiting two years to get to Polus, and now that I’m finally here, I can make sure no one will touch this gravesite again.”</p>
<p>“Gravesite?” Lapis’ voice finally works in her favor.</p>
<p>“Yes. Why do you think the whole planet is toxic to your kind? There are dead bodies here. The dead bodies of my ancestors. This is but one of many gravesites throughout the galaxy. I’m one of the only ones left.”</p>
<p>Lapis’ mind swirls inside itself at this revelation. They found it. They finally found alien life, after centuries of exploration.</p>
<p>And now they were going to die because of it.</p>
<p>“We didn’t know. Guin, we didn’t know.”</p>
<p>“I know, but you humans never stop. So it comes to us to stop you.”</p>
<p>“Guin, please.”</p>
<p>“I like you, Lapis. I really do. I wanted you to join me.”</p>
<p>Lapis shakes.</p>
<p>“But humans are too fragile for our DNA. You can’t maintain cognitive abilities after being infected, and even if you could, your body can’t handle the side effects for long, and collapses onto itself.”</p>
<p>“How... how do you know?”</p>
<p>What a stupid question. Guin knows because she’s tested it.</p>
<p>“I’ve tested it.”</p>
<p>Lapis wants to scream, but she doesn’t think she has the energy.</p>
<p>“...Did you do something to our—to <em>my</em> crew?”</p>
<p>“I slipped some of my essence into the water and the air filters at the ship.”</p>
<p>That explains why everyone was acting weird. They were infected days before arriving, and being around the toxic air definitely didn’t help.</p>
<p>“They’re all dead, aren’t they?”</p>
<p>“Yes. All of them. Even if they hadn't been infected, I would have killed everyone the moment we stepped out of the ship. I won’t allow any human to put their hands on my ancestors.”</p>
<p>“And the core?”</p>
<p>“I’ve changed the parameters for the lava, so that the core will sink down faster. There’s a grave some meters down. Once the core reaches it, it will react to the chemicals in the remains.”</p>
<p>“...I see.”</p>
<p>Lapis stays quiet for a while, watching as Guin works. She can’t feel her legs, but she still tries to get up and run when Guin drops the core in the lava. It glows more than it should for a moment, and then it sinks. Lapis wants to laugh; even if the explosion didn’t kill them, the radiation the core has just emitted would do the job in a few days.</p>
<p>She looks at Guin, watches the way she watches the lava, something like determination on her face.</p>
<p>“Was there ever a Guinevere in the first place?” Lapis asks, voice failing her. There’s a river of tears forming behind her eyes, desperately trying to escape, but she holds them back on sheer will.</p>
<p>“Yes. She was stationed at Pyso station a year before being assigned to the Skeld. I... took her place then.”</p>
<p>Pyso. The rogue planet that had exploded a couple of days after the last crew left it. People had chalked it up to the instability of the planet, tectonic movement so violent that sooner or later the planet wouldn’t be able to handle it. Which hadn’t made much sense to Lapis, even if she knew nothing about geology, and now she knew the truth.</p>
<p>“So, all this time...”</p>
<p>“It’s been me, yes.”</p>
<p>“So you destroyed that one too?”</p>
<p>Guin—the monster wearing Guinevere’s face—shakes her head. “Another one of my kin did that. They volunteered to stay behind.”</p>
<p>So Lapis fell in love with a monster. A pretty monster with a pretty smile and soft brown eyes. Her control falters; the tears burn as they fall down her cheeks. Her face muscles scrunch up in an emotional pain that she thought wasn't possible to feel, and a loud sob is the first thing to leave her mouth when she opens it.</p>
<p>“I hate you,” she manages to say between her tears, eyes closing without her say.</p>
<p>“I know.” If Lapis didn’t know better, she would say Guin sounds mournful.</p>
<p>“I hate you so much.” She cries harder, almost feeling like a child. She brings her hands over to her face and paws at her skin, scratching, trying to bring sensation back. The pain is distant, something achy and persistent, but at the back of her mind.</p>
<p>She’s back to feeling numb.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“I hate it that I don’t hate you at all.” The confession slips before she can stop it, the truth burning her throat. Shame washes over her; this woman—this monster, this thing that fooled her so well—killed her colleagues, her friends, and she cannot even bring herself to hate her. If there’s somewhere they go after this, Lapis won’t be able to look her crew in the eye.</p>
<p>“Lapis.” Guin sounds... she doesn’t know what Guin sounds like, anymore. She thought she did, but now she just doubts everything she ever thought about Guin, and about the two of them.</p>
<p>“Shut up.”</p>
<p>“Lapis.”</p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up.”</p>
<p>“Lapis, list—”</p>
<p>“I SAID SHUT UP!” The scream tores her already sore throat. A trickle of something warm that can only be blood goes down her throat and Lapis chokes on it for a few seconds, disgust controlling her thoughts for a moment.</p>
<p>She realizes she had her eyes closed only when she opens them, connecting directly with Guin’s gaze. She’s close, too close, hands on Lapis’ shoulders, a concerned look on her face entirely at odds with the blood and gore drenching her from head to toes. There’s something red and gooey on her hair, dripping slowly down her face, making a red path through her cheek. A cheek that just an hour ago Lapis had kissed, worried that she wouldn’t have another chance.</p>
<p>“Get off me,” is what she tries to say, but her throat hurts too much. It comes out garbled by pain and blood. If Guin understands, she pretends she doesn’t; she grabs Lapis’ around the shoulders and legs, carrying her with no difficulty. How come Lapis never noticed her unusual strength? Just another failure to notch onto her belt, another way she let her emotions cloud her judgement.</p>
<p>It takes her a moment to see where they’re going, and when realizes it, a laugh wants to get out of her again, but she’s too weak now.</p>
<p>It goes without saying that the lava pit is incredibly hot, but without the stabilizers it seems to be blazing now, a tiny sun on the surface of the planet, ready to explode at any moment. As soon as the core reaches down to whatever’s buried in the lava.</p>
<p><em>Are you going to throw me in?</em> she wants to ask, but can’t fight the strength to do it.</p>
<p>
  <em>Is this what blood loss feels like? Huh.</em>
</p>
<p>Guin’s arms tighten around her, making her look up. Moving her head is difficult, her muscles protesting the movement, too hurt and too weak. Guin’s face illuminated by lava is incredibly beautiful, and Lapis is hit by a wave of sadness that threatens to swallow her whole. In another life, this could have been hers; being in the arms of this person right here, in a happier situation.</p>
<p>Then again, nothing guarantees that Lapis would have fallen in love with the real Guinevere. What would it say about her, that maybe Guin being a monster is exactly why Lapis fell?</p>
<p>If she had any strength, she would cry again.</p>
<p><em>I never got her name</em>, is the nonsensical thought that goes through her mind as Guin looks down at her.</p>
<p>“You’re dying. I have no means to heal you; I cannot leave Guinevere’s body, and even if I could, I wouldn't be able to fuse with yours. You’re too weak.”</p>
<p>Guin’s words make less and less sense. Lapis mostly watches her mouth move. It’s a pretty mouth. If she asked, would Guin kiss her?</p>
<p>“I cannot leave, and you cannot leave. There's only one thing left to do, and I see no purpose in delaying the inevitable.”</p>
<p>Guin’s hair shines so prettily in the orange light. Lapis wants to take a picture, to keep it safe together with the others she has, of Guin and of their crew, candid moments where she snapped her pad quickly, people only noticing after the picture was taken.</p>
<p>The last time Lapis had done something like that, Guin had smiled at her afterwards, her pretty, soft smile that always seemed to whisper promises.</p>
<p>Promises that Guin could never keep.</p>
<p><em>Guin</em>, Lapis thinks as Guin steps onto the metal platform. The smell of something burning fills the air, but Lapis doesn't notice. <em>Guin... why?</em></p>
<p>Lapis doesn’t really know what she’s asking, why she’s asking. Is she even asking? Is her mouth moving?</p>
<p>Hot.</p>
<p>Everything is hot.</p>
<p>She can’t breathe. The air is like fire itself. It burns her nose and her throat and her lungs. Lapis wants to cry. Wants to scream. She can do neither of those now. She can only watch Guin’s face convulse, as if collapsing on itself, something oily and black traveling across the planes of her face, distorting it. A handful of eyes look down at Lapis, all brown and pretty and so so wrong, but Lapis can’t exactly pinpoint why they’re wrong. They’re still Guin’s, only not.</p>
<p>The sky behind Guin’s head seems to move. Lapis feels the tug at her stomach. It brings back a far away memory of gravity training, where gravity would change so fast all the muscles in her body protested, but mainly her stomach.</p>
<p>They’re falling. The wind whips some of Guin’s matted hair out of her face.</p>
<p>Guin has jumped off the platform.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thing about lava that no one ever seems to remember is that it’s not a liquid. You don’t go splashing in it the way you do in water. Lava is magma; a solid-liquid thing that behaves like syrup. A hot, eye-searing syrup that can kill you, but only after giving you unimaginable pain.</p>
<p>When Guin and Lapis fall into the lava, Guin’s legs hit it first. She sinks to her knees in seconds, and Guin wouldn’t be able to get out even if she wanted to. Lapis is too far gone to notice much of anything.</p>
<p>The scream of pain that fills the air is not human. It’s definitely not made by a human throat.</p>
<p>It’s nothing that can be described, but if it could, one might say it sounds like a lament.</p>
<p>Somewhere down in the lava, the core reaches <em>something</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From space, a planet exploding can be said to be a beautiful thing. It doesn’t make any sound as it stops being a planet and starts being a firework show. The reaction of Polus’ molten core with its cold atmosphere and its alien chemicals creates a haze of purple, a substance that’s either a liquid or smoke. Maybe both. Along with the orange and the white, it’s a sight to behold as it encases the flying rocks and metals, bursting away from ground zero to create a starburst around the core.</p>
<p>It will take decades for the space debris to cool off, and then centuries for the organic material to die off completely, and then millennia for the radiation to be at human accepted levels again.</p>
<p>Even longer for the place to be made into anything.</p>
<p>Perhaps Mira HQ will conveniently forget Polus’ location. Perhaps they will declare the site forbidden for visits. There will certainly be no investigation, and one doesn’t need to wonder what kind of platitudes the families of the crews will receive.</p>
<p>Whatever happened in Polus will have to stay there, amidst the molten rock and the scream that seems to echo long after it’s gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Let me know what you think _(:3」∠)_</p>
<p>Also, come scream at me on <a href="https://raz-ia.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/Razia1227">twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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